The+Mom

= Always a Mom, Never a Mother =

In today’s society, many women, especially young women, have taken on the role of the mom, whether they are actually mothers or not. However, the perception of the mom has morphed to cover other stereotypes such as trophy wives, teen moms, bad moms, and generally ditsy women. The mom is someone who is compassionate, intelligent and self-sufficient, and mature rather than cold-hearted, dumb, dependent, or immature like many perceive them as due to these negative stereotypes. Because of the wide range of maternal behavior displayed today, many see mothers in a negative light. For one, women are often displayed as cold-hearted and negligent. For example, in //The Big Bang Theory//, Leonard’s mom is a non-maternal figure in his life. Although she is biologically his mother, she displays a negative depiction of the mom archetype in that she is logical and unloving rather than treating him with love and care as a true mom would. Throughout her visit in the episode "The Maternal Capacitance," she acts in a cold-hearted manor rather than showing Leonard love or affection.
 * Hilly, in //The Help//, acts similarly in that she does not take it upon herself to love and care for her daughter, but instead she pays for another woman to do it. This further adds to the negative image of a mom as a caring person. However, in reality, moms, both biological and figurative, are more often loving, kind, and compassionate towards both children and those around them in need of help. For example, Aibileen in //The Help// is compassionate and loving towards Hilly’s daughter Mae, even though the child is not her own. She teaches the child and acts lovingly toward her making sure she is happy and taken care of. **

This clearly displays the true character of a mom: someone who loves and cares for others, whether they are truly their mother or not. Furthermore, many view moms negatively because of the representations of aloof, dependent trophy wives. For example, Regina’s mom in //Mean Girls// is portrayed as airheaded and dumb. She acts as a friend to her daughters, neglecting to care for them maternally. She also does not work, but clearly has money through her marriage and lives a life dependent on her husband.


 * Donna Reed from //The Donna Reed Show// further solidifies this negative image of moms as the perfect housewife living only to care for her kids and husband. This stereotype additionally demeans the image of a mom. In reality today, many “moms” and mothers work. Society has transformed to become much more accepting of working mothers, but many still feel that mothers “belong in the home” and have trouble seeing moms in any other environment. However, moms in today’s society are generally very self-sufficient. For one, there are many single moms today who have no other choice than to be self-supporting. For example, Lorelai in //Gilmore Girls// becomes a mom as a teenager and raises her daughter completely on her own and works hard to support and care for her. In this situation, Lorelais the perfect example of someone who may not seem like the typical “good mother,” but in reality acts as a better mom and supporter of her child than any stereotypical housewife portrayed on television. Moms aren’t just moms, and often that ends up being better for the children, giving them a more self-reliant supporter who truly cares for them. **
 * Another negative view of the mom stereotype is that they can be immature. This is often seen in teenage moms, young stepmoms, single moms, and trophy wives. Firstly, Sam’s mom in //iCarly// is a good depiction of this childish, juvenile behavior. Sam’s mom acts extremely immaturely, not seeming to care for Sam’s well being or safety. Sam often cares for herself and even must take care of her mother. **

This is a display of the immature behavior by those who may not be equipped for the maternal lifestyle. This is often seen too, in the show //Teen Mom// where teenage mothers struggle to deal with caring for a child at a very young age. This often results in mistakes, neglect, and inadequate care for the children. Because this is such a popular television show, it serves to glorify teen pregnancy and make it seem as though it is “the norm.” However, moms more often than not wait for the right time to have children, or if forced, adapt fairly well to motherhood. Another example would again be Regina’s mom in //Mean Girls//. She acts as a friend to her daughters rather than acting as an authority figure in their lives. In one scene of the movie, she even condones her daughter’s inappropriate behavior with her boyfriend which a responsible mother would not have allowed seemly because she wants to be “the cool mom.” However, moms are not meant to be their children’s friends. They are meant to love and nurture, to care for and support, and yes, to discipline when necessary. A true mom knows how to best handle her children, and knows when it may be appropriate to act as a friend, and more importantly, when to act as an authority. One cannot be a mom unless she can handle herself. For example, Rory in Gilmore Girls acts like an adult through her teenage years and cares for others even though she is not a mom herself. Lorelai, Rory’s mother, is also a good example of this maturity in that she was a teenage mom, but worked hard to support her daughter and acted with conviction and intelligence in every choice she had to make for her daughter, even when she was still technically a child herself.

When Lorelai became older, she knew how to balance her friendship with Rory with her authority over her which resulted in a healthy mother/daughter relationship and a very well brought up child. Women and girls who act as moms are mature enough to know how to deal with their own problems and act as adults and authorities in the lives of children and others, whether they are the biological mother to them or not. The mom, in general, is someone who loves and cares for others. She, most of the time, acts independently and intelligently making good choices for her children or the children that she cares for, and acts adult-like, no matter her age. The media clearly has had their fun displaying the mom in all sorts of negative light, but the truth is still evident. True “moms” care for the well-being of those around them and do all that they can to help and support others. They are not cruel or juvenile; they are not dumb or dependent. These qualities would take away from their abilities to love and care for others. Therefore, they are not often seen in moms. Moms simply have a nature about them that desires to care for those who need it and this will not change simply due to the shallow attempts to display moms in awful ways. Moms will continue to love and care for those around them with the same compassion and joy that they always have.

Works Cited: Schneider, D. (Writer)(2011), isam’s mom [Television series episode]. In Schneider, D. (Executive Producer), //iCarly.// Retrieved from []

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Owen, Tony, prod. //The Donna Reed Show.// ABC: 1963-63. Television. [].

Mark, Waters, dir. Writ. Fey Tina. //Mean Girls//. 2004. DVD. Collins, Suzanne. //The Hunger Games.// New York: Scholastic, 2008. Print.

Sherman-Palladino, Amy, prod. //Gilmore Girls.// ABC Family: 2000-2007. Television.

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